So we got this packet in the mail from Disney Home Videos, for whom I used to work, trying to sell us copious amounts of DVD’s because Disney will sell anything if they think they can get away with it.  And they can get away with selling a lot of things that defy reason and imagination because they slap a picture of a princess on it.  I am just as guilty of this as any other parent.  I put myself through things that would have been considered cruel and unusual twenty years ago because my daughter wants to watch it.

But among this list of movies that I can use to lower my already questionable level of sanity is a “free gift.”  About two dozen stickers that we can put on the Disney DVDs we already own to identify them as ours.  I will tell you that in the real world my last name is Anderson.  I don’t use it because everyone’s last name is Anderson.  So these little stickers say, “This Disney DVD’s owner is: THE ANDERSON FAMILY.”

This freaking sticker drives me insane.  My kids have insisted on placing them all over my house including in places which could, in no way, be classified as a DVD.  Or even DVD related.  Like the bathroom wall and all over the edge of the kitchen table.  This sticker is barely English!  It drives me nuts.  I can think of a million ways this could be written that would place it more fully in the realm of objects intended for those people for whom English is not a second language.

How about, “This Disney DVD belongs to the Anderson family.”  Oh, excuse me.  THE ANDERSON FAMILY.  Because we deserve to be capitalized.  We’re THE Anderson family.  The only one.  We’re like the Matrix.  Or how about, “This Disney DVD is owned by THE ANDERSON FAMILY.”  Is it just me or can you hear that echoing when you say it?

Or any number of ways that would have been more gramatically appropriate, not that this is entirely inappropriate grammatically, just incredibly annoying.  It makes me want to never buy another Disney DVD again.  But it probably doesn’t matter because even if I didn’t I will be finding these stickers forever, on the bottom of my shoes, the inside of the lid to the garbage can and in the box of granola bars.  This Oatmeal Raisin Chewy Granola Bar’s owner is:  THE ANDERSON FAMILY!

AJ